Star\u00e1 h\u00e1jovna. A z n\u00ed v\u00fdhled na ctihodnou hladinu rybn\u00edka. Zv\u016fle. Kone\u010dn\u011b kus poh\u00e1dky v m\u00fdch bl\u00e1zniv\u00fdch dnech. Na\u0161i \u00fahlavn\u00ed p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 a jejich t\u0159i d\u011bti tak p\u0159\u00edjemn\u011b lad\u00ed k n\u00e1m a t\u00e9 na\u0161\u00ed trojce. Ve\u010der holota zapadne d\u011blat neplechu do jednoho pokoje. Do bezv\u011bdom\u00ed. Ve\u010dery pat\u0159\u00ed rodi\u010d\u016fm! Uv\u00edtac\u00ed drink je nalit. Mus\u00edme pr\u00e1sknout d\u016fvod m\u00e9 nenad\u00e1l\u00e9 abstinence. Co jin\u00e9ho by \u010dlov\u011bk \u010dekal ve sv\u00e9 t\u011b\u017ekosti od prav\u00fdch p\u0159\u00e1tel? Tot\u00e1ln\u00ed a up\u0159\u00edmn\u00fd v\u00fdsm\u011bch. D\u00edky moc, k\u00e1mov\u00e9! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zbytek ve\u010dera pl\u00e1nujem cyklo-v\u00fdlety po okol\u00ed. Le\u010d. R\u00e1no nezvl\u00e1dnu v\u00fdpary sn\u00edda\u0148ov\u00e9 ka\u0161e a poprv\u00e9 v t\u00e9hle etap\u011b zp\u00edv\u00e1m balady z\u00e1chodu. Dostav\u00ed se absence s\u00edly, rovnov\u00e1hy a taky kysl\u00edku. Ten stav na m\u011b ud\u011bl\u00e1 fakt dojem. Beru to jako znamen\u00ed nel\u00e9zt dnes na kolo. Alternativa v podob\u011b odpoledn\u00edho p\u011b\u0161\u00edho v\u00fdletu mi p\u0159ijde jako supr pl\u00e1n. C\u00edl cesty – \u010e\u00e1blova prdel. Nikam jinam na sv\u011bt\u011b bych te\u010f nelezla rad\u011bji. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
U prdele je veselo. D\u011bcka d\u011blaj\u00ed \u017eertovn\u00e9 p\u00f3zy s vystr\u010den\u00fdmi zadky u inspirativn\u00edho skaln\u00edho masivu. Cestou dol\u016f zaznamen\u00e1m divn\u00fd vlhk\u00fd pocit. Ten se z\u00e1hy m\u011bn\u00ed v pocit tekouc\u00ed. Chci zal\u00e9zt za ke\u0159 a prov\u00e9st soukromou zevrubn\u00ed kontrolu. To nakonec nemus\u00edm. Sta\u010d\u00ed povyt\u00e1hnout nohavice kalhot, abych vid\u011bla, jak mi rudnou pono\u017eky kolem kotn\u00edk\u016f. Tak tohle je potrat? Asi jo. Cosi m\u011b lehce p\u00edchne v oblasti kolem aorty. Ale jinak to p\u0159ij\u00edm\u00e1m klidn\u011b. Kamar\u00e1di vyhr\u00e1vaj\u00ed na\u0161i zku\u0161ebn\u00ed sadu d\u011bt\u00ed a miz\u00ed lesn\u00ed cestou vst\u0159\u00edc pivn\u00edmu automatu, zat\u00edmco j\u00e1 se s podporou mu\u017ee vyd\u00e1v\u00e1m na rudou cestu zp\u011bt. Nechvaln\u011b zn\u00e1m\u00e1 \u0159i\u0165o-k\u0159e\u010d se op\u011bt oz\u00fdv\u00e1. S eleganc\u00ed kobyl\u00edho lejna se z\u0159\u00edt\u00edm na kl\u00e1du u lesn\u00ed cesty. Mu\u017e trochu nerv\u00f3zn\u011b odb\u00edh\u00e1 pro pomoc k nedalek\u00e9mu malebn\u00e9mu statku. P\u0159edstavuju si, \u017ee pro m\u011b na povoze p\u0159ijede princezna ze mlejna. Vzhledem ke vzhledu toho staven\u00ed se zd\u00e1 jin\u00e1 varianta nevkusn\u00e1. Pr\u00e1zdninuj\u00edc\u00ed osazenstvo statku se bohu\u017eel pr\u00e1v\u011b vr\u00e1tilo od pivn\u00edho automatu. Mohli by m\u011b z lesa leda kut\u00e1let po vzoru pivn\u00edho sudu. B\u011bhem dal\u0161\u00ed chv\u00edle ze statku vyj\u00ed\u017ed\u00ed princezna ve star\u00e9 fabce. Je ve druh\u00e9m m\u011bs\u00edci. Jedin\u00e1 osoba v tu chv\u00edli opr\u00e1vn\u011bn\u00e1 k \u0159\u00edzen\u00ed vozidla. Tento sv\u011bt pot\u0159ebuje t\u011bhotn\u00e9! U\u017e jen proto, aby sni\u017eovaly procento lid\u00ed, co jsou \u201cna plech\u201d. Na Zv\u016fli m\u011bn\u00edme vozidlo za vlasn\u00ed. D\u011bkujeme princezn\u011b za dobrodin\u00ed. P\u0159ejeme p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9 t\u011bhotenstv\u00ed se \u0161\u0165astn\u00fdm koncem. A m\u00ed\u0159\u00edme ukon\u010dit potrat do Jind\u0159ichova Hradce. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
PORODNICE. Sev\u0159e se mi \u017ealudek. Dva m\u011bs\u00edce zp\u011bt bych nev\u011b\u0159ila, \u017ee jej\u00ed slu\u017eby je\u0161t\u011b n\u011bkdy vyhled\u00e1m. Na gynekologick\u00e9 pohotovosti jsme v komorn\u00edm slo\u017een\u00ed. Krom mladink\u00e9 sest\u0159i\u010dky a r\u00e1zn\u00e9 l\u00e9ka\u0159ky tam nikdo nen\u00ed. Hned ve dve\u0159\u00edch hl\u00e1s\u00edm, \u017ee nejsp\u00ed\u0161 prod\u011bl\u00e1v\u00e1m potrat. Plod zat\u00edm nevy\u0161el. Zato krve tak \u0161kopek. Je\u0161t\u011b se sna\u017e\u00edm p\u016fsobit \u017eertovn\u011b. Informovan\u011b. Klidn\u011b. Hup na kozu. MUDr.: \u201cHmm. Zdroj krv\u00e1cen\u00ed se evidentn\u011b vy\u010derpal a u\u017e tu nic nete\u010de. Ale\u2026.v\u00edte, \u017ee tam m\u00e1te dv\u011b?\u201d \u201cCO PROSIM? TO BUDE ASI N\u011aJAK\u00dd OMYL!\u201d \u201cV\u00edte, my jsme vlastn\u011b u\u017e ani nepot\u0159ebovali to \u010dtvrt\u00e9, tak\u017ee dv\u011b by byly fakt velk\u00e1 \u0161kodolibost. \u010cty\u0159i dny zp\u011bt mi tam s\u00e1m prim\u00e1\u0159 napo\u010d\u00edtal p\u0159esn\u011b jeden plod, tak\u017ee bychom mu t\u0159eba brnkly, aby to potvrdil?\u201d Nep\u016fsobit imbeciln\u011b, bez \u0161petky intelektu a nadhledu se u\u017e ani nesna\u017e\u00edm. Pan\u00ed doktorka m\u00e1 na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed nadhledu na rozd\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed. \u201cJak \u0159\u00edk\u00e1m. Jsou tam dv\u011b. Jednovaje\u010dn\u00e9. Pokud chcete podat st\u00ed\u017enost, tak jedin\u011b u toho p\u00e1na na chodb\u011b.\u201d St\u00ed\u017enost? To teda chci! Obecn\u011b m\u00e1m probl\u00e9m s t\u00edm, kdy\u017e dokto\u0159i sv\u00e9voln\u011b d\u011bs\u00ed lidi nepravd\u011bpodobn\u00fdmi diagn\u00f3zami. Ale d\u011bsit t\u011bhotn\u00e9 lidi? To p\u0159ijde nadm\u00edru obskurn\u00ed i mn\u011b. A to m\u00e1m pros\u00edm b\u011b\u017en\u011b pro na\u010dernal\u00e9 humory dost pochopen\u00ed. Vyb\u011bhnu na chodbu. Zb\u011bsile se rozhl\u00ed\u017e\u00edm po p\u00e1novi s kartot\u00e9kou \u201cST\u00cd\u017dNOSTI\u201d. Kam oko dohl\u00e9dne, jedin\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk po obou d\u00e9lk\u00e1ch chodby je mu\u017e. M\u016fj vlastn\u00ed. A bez kartot\u00e9ky. A v k\u0159e\u010di sm\u00edchu. \u201cTys to sly\u0161el?\u201d Pt\u00e1m se zelenaj\u00edc. \u201cJo! Bylo to srozumiteln\u00e9 na t\u0159i patra v obou sm\u011brech.\u201d \u201cA nem\u011bl bys n\u00e1hodou sp\u00ed\u0161 bre\u010det?\u201d \u201cNe, ale ty by ses m\u011bla rychle s t\u00edm t\u011bhotenstv\u00edm sm\u00ed\u0159it, nebo se to d\u00edt\u011b na p\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b vzteky roztroj\u00ed.\u201d A\u017e te\u010f mi do\u0161el doktor\u010din vt\u00edpek se st\u00ed\u017enost\u00ed u p\u00e1na na chodb\u011b. Do ordinace se vrac\u00edm odevzdan\u00e1 s devades\u00e1tikorunov\u00fdm poplatkem a tichou a pokornou \u017e\u00e1dost\u00ed o eutan\u00e1zii. Pokud mo\u017eno hned. MUDr. zvesela odpov\u00edd\u00e1, \u017ee m\u00e1 r\u00e1da vtipn\u00e9 matky a tak j\u00ed bude pot\u011b\u0161en\u00edm m\u011b tu do z\u00edtra pozorovat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tak jako zase prrr. Nejela jsem p\u0159es p\u016fl republiky na dovolenou, abych ji str\u00e1vila ve \u0161pit\u00e1lu. \u0160kemr\u00e1m o propu\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed a slibuju, \u017ee se polep\u0161\u00edm! A budu hodn\u00e1. A poslu\u0161n\u00e1. A opatrn\u00e1. A le\u017eat\u00e1. N\u011bjak se j\u00ed nechce mi to v\u011b\u0159it. P\u0159edvol\u00e1 si man\u017eela. Ten je s n\u00ed nar\u00e1z p\u0159evelik\u00fd k\u00e1mo\u0161 – dokonce m\u011b tam chce nechat. Zr\u00e1dce. Nicm\u00e9n\u011b jemu v\u011b\u0159\u00ed a tak mu m\u011b sv\u011b\u0159\u00ed. M\u00e1me ale hned r\u00e1no zam\u00ed\u0159it dom\u016f a dostavit se na gyndu u n\u00e1s. Zd\u00e1 se j\u00ed, \u017ee dvoj\u010data mezi sebou nemaj\u00ed b\u011b\u017en\u00e9 obaly, n\u00fdbr\u017e v\u016fbec nic. A to by byla velik\u00e1 vz\u00e1cnost. A nemen\u0161\u00ed komplikace. Cestou zp\u011bt tup\u011b \u010dum\u00edm vp\u0159ed. N\u011bkam daleko skrz \u010deln\u00ed sklo. \u00dadajn\u00fd otec m\u00fdch d\u011bt\u00ed se co chv\u00edli zap\u0159e do volantu a hlasit\u011b se rozchecht\u00e1. Mezi h\u00fdkav\u00fdmi zvuky ob\u010das artikuluje n\u011bco ve smyslu \u201cto bude mazec, ty kr\u00e1so! To bude prdel!\u201d M\u00edt v ruce volant j\u00e1, narvu to s n\u00edm do stromu. Bez v\u00fd\u010ditek. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
V h\u00e1jovn\u011b u\u017e vl\u00e1dl klid \u0161esti ulo\u017een\u00fdch d\u011bt\u00ed, kdy\u017e jsme t\u011bm dv\u011bma bd\u00edc\u00edm p\u011bstoun\u016fm sd\u011blovali na\u0161i diagn\u00f3zu. Jejich hur\u00f3nsk\u00fd \u0159ehot tam tehdy m\u00e1lem ze zd\u00ed poshazoval paro\u017e\u00ed. Zbytek ve\u010dera u\u017e jsme se jen sm\u00e1li. V\u0161ichni.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Star\u00e1 h\u00e1jovna. A z n\u00ed v\u00fdhled na ctihodnou hladinu rybn\u00edka. Zv\u016fle. Kone\u010dn\u011b kus poh\u00e1dky v m\u00fdch bl\u00e1zniv\u00fdch dnech. Na\u0161i \u00fahlavn\u00ed p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 a jejich t\u0159i d\u011bti tak p\u0159\u00edjemn\u011b lad\u00ed k n\u00e1m a t\u00e9 na\u0161\u00ed trojce. Ve\u010der holota zapadne d\u011blat neplechu do jednoho pokoje. Do bezv\u011bdom\u00ed. Ve\u010dery pat\u0159\u00ed rodi\u010d\u016fm! Uv\u00edtac\u00ed drink je nalit. Mus\u00edme pr\u00e1sknout d\u016fvod m\u00e9…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monoclanky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions\/39"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}