31.t.t.+5 – ultrazvuk u\u017e ke mn\u011b pomalu p\u0159ir\u016fst\u00e1. Jeden by si myslel, \u017ee \u010dast\u00e9 n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvy \u0161pit\u00e1lu p\u0159etav\u00edm v supr \u00fanik od t\u00e9 t\u0159\u00edhlav\u00e9 san\u011b dom\u00e1c\u00ed. Jako takhle. Kdekoli jinde by tomu tak bylo. Nicm\u00e9n\u011b \u010dek\u00e1n\u00ed v na\u0161\u00ed rekonstruuj\u00edc\u00ed se nemocnici \u00fapln\u011b s l\u00e1ze\u0148sk\u00fdm z\u00e1\u017eitkem nezam\u011bn\u00edte. Ka\u017ed\u00e1 \u017eena sice tou\u017e\u00ed sledovat svalovce s kangem nad hlavou, jak vy\u0161\u00edv\u00e1 vzkazky do stropu\u2026ale \u010dasto pak ultrazvuky ve vedlej\u0161\u00ed m\u00edstnosti na ty kanga \u017e\u00e1rl\u00ed a odm\u00edtaj\u00ed fungovat. O tom, \u017ee touha po m\u00e9m tich\u00e9m vnit\u0159n\u00edm usebr\u00e1n\u00ed vzala d\u00edky tomu krav\u00e1lu za sv\u00e9, se ani nebudu zmi\u0148ovat. M\u00e1 to ale tu v\u00fdhodu, \u017ee jedin\u011b tady – v mlhav\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti pln\u00e9 levituj\u00edc\u00ed om\u00edtky, jsou t\u011bhotn\u00e9 za povinnost respir\u00e1tor\u016f v\u00e1\u017en\u011b vd\u011b\u010dn\u00e9. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pendluju mezi gynekolo\u017ekou, kter\u00e1 se star\u00e1 o m\u00e9 pohodl\u00ed a bezpe\u010dnost a perinatologem Humlem, je\u017eto m\u00e1 na starost pohodl\u00ed a bezpe\u010dnost holek. Pravidla na\u0161\u00ed hry jsou n\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00ed: J\u00e1, jako\u017eto zast\u00e1nce porodu v co nejzaz\u0161\u00edm mo\u017en\u00e9m term\u00ednu, se sna\u017e\u00edm sekci odtl\u00e1\u010det, co nejd\u00e1l to jde. A ti dva and\u011bl\u00e9 str\u00e1\u017en\u00ed zas tla\u010d\u00ed term\u00edn porodu proti mn\u011b. Klasick\u00e1 p\u0159etahova\u010dka. Do hry vstupuju sebev\u011bdom\u011b. Ty spole\u010densk\u00e9 mi v\u017edycky docela \u0161ly. Obzvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 m\u011bste\u010dko Palermo jsem mastila, jak ost\u0159\u00edlen\u00fd kmotr. Popravovat n\u011bkoho ve sp\u00edc\u00edm m\u011bst\u011b a r\u00e1no p\u0159esv\u011bd\u010dit poz\u016fstal\u00e9 o sv\u00e9 nevin\u011b\u2026to je velmi z\u00e1bavn\u00e1 v\u011bc. Proti mn\u011b te\u010f ale stoj\u00ed t\u011b\u017ek\u00fd kalibr. Narozd\u00edl od bezbolestn\u011b fingovan\u00e9 smrti kohosi z jihu It\u00e1lie hroz\u00ed v t\u00e9to h\u0159e v p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b \u0161patn\u00e9ho tahu re\u00e1ln\u00e1 smrt m\u00fdch vlastn\u00edch lid\u00ed, co se vyh\u0159\u00edvaj\u00ed na jihu m\u00e9ho b\u0159icha. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Co v\u00e1m budu\u2026projela jsem to hned na startu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jedna z holek za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 oproti t\u00e9 druh\u00e9 zvy\u0161ovat svou v\u00e1hu. A to navzdory m\u00e9mu d\u016frazn\u00e9mu nab\u00e1d\u00e1n\u00ed, a\u0165 si tyhle lump\u00e1rny schovaj\u00ed na pubertu. P\u016fjdou ven. Plant\u00e1\u017enice. Co nejd\u0159\u00edv. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Porodnice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u010c\u00e1st sester je odvelen\u00e1 do \u201ccovid\u00e1ria\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Matek hyperteni\u010dek je zrovna dneska nad m\u00edru b\u011b\u017en\u00fdch dn\u00ed. Narozd\u00edl ode m\u011b, kter\u00e1 si p\u0159i\u0161la jen rozp\u00edchat \u017e\u00edly kortikoidov\u00fdm n\u00e1\u0161upem, ony pot\u0159ebuj\u00ed tro\u0161ku v\u00edc t\u00e9 nemocni\u010dn\u00ed l\u00e1sky. Rychlost klap\u00e1n\u00ed sestersk\u00fdch pantofl\u00ed o dla\u017ebu chodby se zved\u00e1 cca o 3km\/h. N\u00e1lada person\u00e1lu kles\u00e1. Nervozita stoup\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bude jeden\u00e1ct. V\u011bt\u0161ina pacientek \u0161la d\u00e1vno do haj\u00e1nkova. Vedle m\u011b za\u0159ez\u00e1v\u00e1 metr\u00e1kov\u00e1 d\u0159evorubkyn\u011b. Za bd\u011bl\u00e9ho stavu se velmi mile omlouvala, \u017ee bude asi trochu chr\u00e1pat. V tomhle teda mou p\u0159edstavivost zabila. Tak intenzivn\u00ed zvuk jsem nesly\u0161ela vyd\u00e1vat doposud \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9ho \u017eiv\u00e9ho tvora. To se mi te\u010f moc hod\u00ed. Aspo\u0148 p\u0159i \u010dek\u00e1n\u00ed na ultrazvuk neusnu. M\u016f\u017eu si t\u0159eba slastn\u011b p\u0159edstavovat, \u017ee sly\u0161\u00edm, jak tenhle archivn\u00ed \u0161pit\u00e1l demoluj\u00ed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Holky hrajou \u0161katulata. Sestra je zoufal\u00e1 k pl\u00e1\u010di. Je mi j\u00ed l\u00edto. Sna\u017e\u00ed se je odd\u011blit silou. Sn\u00edma\u010dem mi ryje do b\u0159icha. A Aaaau! L\u00edtost se m\u011bn\u00ed ve vztek. Chci j\u00ed uhryznout ruku a odp\u00e1lit ji s n\u00ed ze dve\u0159\u00ed. Hry\u017eu m\u00edsto toho aspo\u0148 sv\u016fj ret. Tu\u0161\u00edm, \u017ee kdy\u017e ceknu,rozml\u00e1t\u00ed mi ultrazvuk o lebku a zhrout\u00ed se. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Te\u010f ji zachytila! Tepovka o kadenci samopalu. \u201cTohle je moc! Doprdele!\u201d Okam\u017eit\u011b vol\u00e1 porodn\u00ed s\u00e1ly. \u201cP\u0159ipravte akutn\u00ed sekci!\u201d Jedeme o t\u0159i patra n\u00ed\u017e. V nervozit\u011b se mnou nabour\u00e1v\u00e1 futra i v\u00fdtah. Moje hlava zvon\u00ed na poplach. Tak\u017ee te\u010f? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vrata porodn\u00edch s\u00e1l\u016f se rozr\u00e1\u017e\u00ed… <\/p>\n\n\n\n
C\u00edt\u00edm omamnou v\u016fni relaxa\u010dn\u00edch bylin. Zbo\u017en\u011b tich\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edtm\u00ed z n\u011bho\u017e vyplouvaj\u00ed usm\u011bvav\u00e9 tv\u00e1\u0159e porodn\u00edch asistentek. Rozd\u00edl uboh\u00fdch t\u0159\u00ed pater. Asi jako kdy\u017e z wrestlingov\u00e9 ar\u00e9ny propadnete do ganja doup\u011bte\u2026..Jo! Je tu i Pe\u0165a! Opatrovnice dobr\u00fdch porod\u016f. N\u011b\u017en\u00e1 v\u00edla s duhov\u00fdmi vlasy a postavou vedle kter\u00e9 so\u0161ka V\u011bstonick\u00e9 venu\u0161e puk\u00e1 z\u00e1vist\u00ed v hrom\u00e1dku nicotn\u00e9 nerostn\u00e9 drti. Jej\u00ed objet\u00ed provede s m\u00fdm rachitick\u00fdm t\u011blem t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 kompletn\u00ed fagocyt\u00f3zu. \u201cNech si m\u011b tu!\u201d huhl\u00e1m j\u00ed zabo\u0159en\u00e1 do pa\u017ee. \u017dasne, kam a\u017e mi l\u00edt\u00e1 b\u0159icho. Soust\u0159ed\u011bn\u011b ho klidn\u00ed olej\u00ed\u010dkem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Netu\u0161\u00edm jak, ale poda\u0159ilo se j\u00ed to perp\u00e9tum vypnout. Grafy tep\u016f jsou v moment\u011b nato\u010den\u00e9. A um\u00edrn\u011bn\u00e9. \u201cTak ona si to holka zjevn\u011b vyb\u011bhala sama!\u201d\u2026no sama\u2026Zkuste si zdrhat p\u0159ed ob\u0159\u00edm hmo\u017ed\u00ed\u0159em v t\u011bsn\u00e9 k\u00e1di pln\u00e9 vody\u2026taky budete m\u00edt tepovku m\u00ed\u0148 v poho, ne\u017e kdy\u017e tlach\u00e1te se s\u00e9grou ve van\u011b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
R\u00e1da bych v\u011bd\u011bla, co tam sypou do aromalamp. P\u0159i odsunu zp\u011bt na p\u00e1t\u00e9 patro se c\u00edt\u00edm \u0161\u0165astn\u011b a zfetovan\u011b. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pond\u011bl\u00ed za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 p\u0159ed p\u00e1tou rann\u00ed. Po p\u0159edporodn\u00edch wellness procedur\u00e1ch m\u011b p\u0159iv\u00e1\u017e\u00ed v 8.00 na s\u00e1l. Hlava rodiny u\u017e tam \u010dek\u00e1. Zarou\u0161kovan\u00e1 a state\u010dn\u011b p\u0159ipravena. Anesteziolo\u017eka nabod\u00e1v\u00e1 m\u00edchu. Zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00ed pocit, kdy\u017e je nar\u00e1z \u010dlov\u011bka jen p\u016fl. Na sc\u00e9nu p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed m\u016fj dne\u0161n\u00ed \u0159ezn\u00edk v cel\u00e9 sv\u00e9 obrovskosti. Dr. Huml. \u201cP\u0159ipravena?\u201d \u201cJ\u00e1 jo. A kdybyste b\u011bhem sekce dostal bl\u00e1zniv\u00fd n\u00e1pad prov\u00e9st mi plastiku b\u0159icha, jd\u011bte do toho! A\u0165 je to na l\u00e9to do bikin. S ozdobnou v\u00e1no\u010dn\u00ed v\u00fd\u0161ivkou po\u010d\u00edt\u00e1m. Co dneska let\u00ed? Norsk\u00fd vzor? Jel\u00ednci? Ok. P\u0159ekvapte m\u011b.\u201d Na s\u00e1le je veselo. Cho\u0165 se koch\u00e1 barvou m\u00fdch st\u0159ev a chv\u00e1l\u00ed jejich vzez\u0159en\u00ed. I po tolika letech v\u00ed, jak mi efektivn\u011b polichotit. Jak se na to prosimv\u00e1s spr\u00e1vn\u011b reaguje? Cudn\u011b uchichtnout? Za\u010dervenat?Pod\u011bkovat? Tak hlavn\u011b, \u017ee te\u010f \u0159e\u0161\u00edm etiketu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trochu tlak. Pak zvuk, jako kdy\u017e lov\u00edte v bl\u00e1t\u011b \u0161keble rybni\u010dn\u00e9\u2026A prvn\u00ed kr\u00e1sn\u00fd k\u0159ik! Nebo sp\u00ed\u0161 n\u011bco, jako kdy\u017e m\u0148oukne kot\u011b. Kl\u00e1ra je tu!\u202610 sekund\u2026a Kate\u0159ina!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Porodn\u00ed asistentka mi d\u00e1v\u00e1 Kl\u00e1rku zabalenou v igelitu na prvn\u00ed \u0148uchnut\u00ed. Hlad\u00edm nosem jedin\u00fd nezabalen\u00fd kousek – obli\u010dej\u00edk o velikosti kachn\u00edho vejce. A\u010d se m\u00e9 rty propor\u010dn\u011b ani vzd\u00e1len\u011b nebl\u00ed\u017e\u00ed rt\u016fm Angeliny Jolie, m\u00e1 Kl\u00e1ra mou pusu p\u0159es cel\u00fd obli\u010dej. V tom s\u00e1\u010dku p\u0159ipom\u00edn\u00e1 1,390kg vep\u0159ov\u00e9ho na v\u00fdpe\u010dky. Jo! Tak p\u0159esn\u011b ty bych si dneska dala!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
31.t.t.+5 – ultrazvuk u\u017e ke mn\u011b pomalu p\u0159ir\u016fst\u00e1. Jeden by si myslel, \u017ee \u010dast\u00e9 n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvy \u0161pit\u00e1lu p\u0159etav\u00edm v supr \u00fanik od t\u00e9 t\u0159\u00edhlav\u00e9 san\u011b dom\u00e1c\u00ed. Jako takhle. Kdekoli jinde by tomu tak bylo. Nicm\u00e9n\u011b \u010dek\u00e1n\u00ed v na\u0161\u00ed rekonstruuj\u00edc\u00ed se nemocnici \u00fapln\u011b s l\u00e1ze\u0148sk\u00fdm z\u00e1\u017eitkem nezam\u011bn\u00edte. Ka\u017ed\u00e1 \u017eena sice tou\u017e\u00ed sledovat svalovce s kangem nad hlavou,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-57","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-monoclanky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":59,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions\/59"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monoclanky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}